Relying on Prayer and Inspiration

At first I would pray and pray to find out what to do to "fix" our child. But through the gentle workings of the Spirit I learned that Garrett was not broken—I just needed to learn to see him through all of the challenges. I came to know that he is special and was sent to us and that I could learn from him. I needed to exercise my faith in Heavenly Father and His plan of happiness in order to see Garrett, his gifts, and his potential, not just his external behaviors.

Such faith was crucial in seeking to understand Garrett. In his early years, until he was about four years old, Garrett knew how to communicate in only one way: crying. Was he in pain? Was he trying to tell me something? "Maybe this is just how it's going to be," I thought. Disheartened and not knowing what to do, I continued to pray. Eventually the challenges associated with our children's autism contributed to the end of our marriage. I began raising our children by myself, until I married a man who has been a great help in dealing with these challenges. We have had two more children.

The answer came to enroll Garrett in a local school program for children with autism, a process in which I saw the hand of the Lord. With Garrett's participation in the program, I learned how to recognize Garrett's talents. I was taught more constructive methods of communicating with my son and understanding what he was experiencing daily. Through these things, my children and I started to see our Garrett! With faith and in time, I also developed perspective to be able to anticipate his needs.

For a long time, I sought to constantly monitor situations to prepare myself to handle Garrett's reaction to unexpected sounds or smells, or, when possible, intervene to prevent the long tantrum that could ensue. If Garrett were my only child, this model of protection and building a bubble around everything might have made sense. But over the years, I have amended my initial response of "sheltering" and creating controlled environments because in the end, they were creating more of a disability for Garrett and our other children than I first thought.

Since relying solely on my own knowledge clearly wasn't working, I once again leaned on Heavenly Father for direction. I stopped building the "perfect bubble" for Garrett to always live in and instead felt guided to build a "safety bubble" for him—a place to go when he has been pushed to his breaking point and needs a place to calm down. For instance, if things at school have been noisy and loud and a lot has been expected of him, I provide a place for him to decompress when he comes home, perhaps allowing him to sit in a quiet place and draw. Garrett's meltdowns have been greatly reduced through strategies and accommodations like this one, all based on the guidance of a loving Heavenly Father.